I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
