YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
