hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
