That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Can you bring me the toilet please
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
