The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
