No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
