When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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