are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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