I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
