Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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