Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
