69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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