shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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