SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Let's paint friendship bongs
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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