mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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