hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
