just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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