i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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