I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
