whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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