got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
