Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
