At least make sure they are 18
Why
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
