did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
