i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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