Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
