I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
