What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
