So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
