hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
