whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
