I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
