Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
