Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
