I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
