You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
