At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
operation have a gay friend backfired
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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