is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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