I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
