one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
