Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
