this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
