Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
