Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
They have beer where we have blood.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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