I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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