I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
