He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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