I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
