I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
