Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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