its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
