Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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