butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
