I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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